NewsLink Briefs

It’s time to take a look at the world before it cracks open and some of it disappears. Because that’s what is happening in Nevada. We have written about this before and suggested that land speculators were invading this state and looking for beach front property bargains.

Because there surely are going to be some as scientists say a 4.7 earthquake hit the Reno area Friday night and a 6.0 earthquake would “not be a scientific surprise”.

This is the first time your aged reporter has heard about “scientific surprise”. He always thought science was based on predictability. If it’s a surprise don’t blame science.

But predicting earthquakes is not a science I guess so maybe they should just leave science out of it and say “Surprise!”

And “Put on a helmet” and “Grab your ankles and kiss yourself goodbye” (I left out part of the directions because not everyone is capable of following all the steps.

What else is going on for the survivors among us? We must carry on even as we wave good-bye to Arnold and his subjects as they float out to sea.

Presidential Candidate Barack Obama doesn’t want to debate Hillary before the May 6 primaries in Indiana and North Carolina.

Why? Possibly because he wanted to drink a cyanide cocktail after debating her the last time. And for those of you who may scoff at this let me ask a question. Have YOU ever debated Hillary? It’s not exactly like taking a walk in the park with your old girlfriend who still loves you.

Probably you never did that either.

Let’s just give Osama I mean Obama a break here. He does not want to go into the Heart of Darkness again. You only get so many chances to go in there and come out alive.

He needs his freaking mind to debate McCain. He can’t lose it now! She will take all his marbles and mail them back to him after the election.

You can’t look at that woman’s eyes on television without feeling dizzy. Imagine what it’s like in person when she’s ten feet away standing on a podium and the lights are heating things up.

Her head can do a 360 just like the kid in the Exorcist.

She wants to wait and use that on McCain. But if she has to do it now she will.

http://www.cspan.org/

BTW here is the video of last night’s White House Correspondents Dinner in case you don’t already know enough about the derangement syndromes of our various politicians and media guys and girls.

And finally President Assad of Syria said yesterday that the structure the Israelis bombed last September was not part of a nuclear weapons program.

It was a Welcome Center for Israelis who want to emigrate to Syria.

Sad. You hate to see something as nice as that destroyed. It can be awfully hot traveling in the desert.

But there is an additional report coming out of Syria right now! Let’s see if we can pick it up. Apparently….

Mr. Assad’s pants..

Have caught on fire. Yes. That’s what it says. His pants have caught on fire.

What could this mean? I don’t know. But we will try to find out. Tune in next time.

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Oh It’s only been a week since I wrote a post here. It seemed like a lot longer when I thought about it. I decided to write about Yahoo Buzz and there top ten picks. Because obviously that’s what people are interested in reading or talking about and why not throw my fifty cents into the pile?

So I did numbers one through five over at Virginia Breeze earlier in the evening. And now while I am waiting for American Idol to tape so I don’t have to watch all the commercials I can do the rest.

Here. And since I started doing this several hours ago the list has changed. Why? Because the news waits for no man or woman I guess. Stuff happens. But Kristy Lee Cook is still up there and we have been following her exploits on AI. What can we say about her that has not already been said?

Not much. She’s a great kid with a bright future. So I don’t understand why she wants to get married at this point. And I DO understand why her boyfriend suddenly decided he needed to propose to her. Because I would have done the same thing in his situation.

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Eliot Spitzer today went a long way towards improving his image and possibly getting himself chosen as Hillary Clinton’s running mate. “I used to be the guy everybody hated”. He said. “I was after everybody. If you had dirt under one fingernail I could find it.” Bill Clinton wouldn’t answer my phone calls. Now he wants to have me to dinner”.

All of this after the NY Governor was busted for sending thousands of dollars to a high class group of prostitutes. Were these donations to a charitable trust? I don’t think so.

“I had reached the top of the ladder and now I’m on a new ladder. Hillary hates my guts but Bill understands. A lot of guys understand. I was desperate. Everybody hated me. It’s tough being the governor of a big state and not being able to have sex with a beautiful woman.”

“But now I’m in the national spotlight AND I may be available for a new job in a couple of days. I can get dates again. Nobody is afraid of me any more. They all know the days of hard hitting investigations are over. I’m a loser just like some of them. They understand me and I’m probably going to be single in a short time too.”

“I’m pretty excited.”

You go Eliot! Just try to stay out of jail.

Meanwhile closer to the ground Justin Timberlake was doing his impression of Dane Cook kissing Charlize Theron on the butt.

“Nobody has gotten into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame looking this damn fine”. Is Keith Richards in their already? That’s who Justin must have been thinking about and I can appreciate his attempt to make another human being feel good on her special day.

Justin. Deborah Harry is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Congratulations to Madonna on her induction. I remember all those years you spent teaching young girls about the wonders of the material life and other good stuff. Until one day you finally grew up and changed A LOT. What comments do you have for all those girls who listened to you back then Material Girl?

“Sorry.”

“Hope you didn’t end up in jail or lose your soul. “

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