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It’s time to take a look at the world before it cracks open and some of it disappears. Because that’s what is happening in Nevada. We have written about this before and suggested that land speculators were invading this state and looking for beach front property bargains.

Because there surely are going to be some as scientists say a 4.7 earthquake hit the Reno area Friday night and a 6.0 earthquake would “not be a scientific surprise”.

This is the first time your aged reporter has heard about “scientific surprise”. He always thought science was based on predictability. If it’s a surprise don’t blame science.

But predicting earthquakes is not a science I guess so maybe they should just leave science out of it and say “Surprise!”

And “Put on a helmet” and “Grab your ankles and kiss yourself goodbye” (I left out part of the directions because not everyone is capable of following all the steps.

What else is going on for the survivors among us? We must carry on even as we wave good-bye to Arnold and his subjects as they float out to sea.

Presidential Candidate Barack Obama doesn’t want to debate Hillary before the May 6 primaries in Indiana and North Carolina.

Why? Possibly because he wanted to drink a cyanide cocktail after debating her the last time. And for those of you who may scoff at this let me ask a question. Have YOU ever debated Hillary? It’s not exactly like taking a walk in the park with your old girlfriend who still loves you.

Probably you never did that either.

Let’s just give Osama I mean Obama a break here. He does not want to go into the Heart of Darkness again. You only get so many chances to go in there and come out alive.

He needs his freaking mind to debate McCain. He can’t lose it now! She will take all his marbles and mail them back to him after the election.

You can’t look at that woman’s eyes on television without feeling dizzy. Imagine what it’s like in person when she’s ten feet away standing on a podium and the lights are heating things up.

Her head can do a 360 just like the kid in the Exorcist.

She wants to wait and use that on McCain. But if she has to do it now she will.

http://www.cspan.org/

BTW here is the video of last night’s White House Correspondents Dinner in case you don’t already know enough about the derangement syndromes of our various politicians and media guys and girls.

And finally President Assad of Syria said yesterday that the structure the Israelis bombed last September was not part of a nuclear weapons program.

It was a Welcome Center for Israelis who want to emigrate to Syria.

Sad. You hate to see something as nice as that destroyed. It can be awfully hot traveling in the desert.

But there is an additional report coming out of Syria right now! Let’s see if we can pick it up. Apparently….

Mr. Assad’s pants..

Have caught on fire. Yes. That’s what it says. His pants have caught on fire.

What could this mean? I don’t know. But we will try to find out. Tune in next time.

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The White House is floating a new climate proposal these days. And No I am not trying to be funny. There was a cool film made a few years ago that showed some results of global warming. Much of the East Coast was under water and stuff was floating away.

Can the White House float in such an environment? I don’t know. But I’m sure there are a lot of politicians who can float really well. They will float out to sea.

Or maybe the sea will even come to them. Then they can float to Albany, New York or Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Whatever floats their boats! Teddy might want to consider taking a plane however.

He has not floated well in the past.

In any case the White House proposed some things and some Republicans got mad and accused it of “appeasement”. And then the White House broke and ran.

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On this day in 1789 The Constitution of the United States went into effect as the First Federal Congress met in New York. They didn’t do much however because there were not enough of them for a quorum. But once the word got out that there were openings for politicians this problem was solved.

The next day. Earlier in 1681 King Charles II granted a charter to William Penn for land that later became Pennsylvania. But why did King Charles feel like he actually was in a position to give the land away? Did he OWN the land? What about the people who had been living there for centuries?

If someone gives away my one tenth acre of land I am going to be upset. Especially if they give it to my ex wife. And that could happen. Where’s my bow and arrow?

In 1858 Senator James Hammond D-SC declared “Cotton is king” in a speech to the US Senate. Senator Byrd jumped up and applauded (He was young enough in those days to jump around and do other stuff without hurting his back). Mr. Cotton was surprised but he collected himself and took a bow. He had been sitting in the gallery sleeping but was abruptly awakened when someone poked him. Later he discovered that somebody had stolen his whig which was, coincidentally, made of cotton balls.

On this day three years later (1861) Abraham Lincoln was inaugurated President. The next day King Cotton turned up at the White House and started pounding on the door. It didn’t take President Lincoln long to realize it was going to be a very long four years.

In 1925 Calvin Coolidge’s inauguration was broadcast live on 21 radio stations. Millions of people across the country suddenly realized that their radios made a loud humming noise when Silent Cal got up to make his speech.

On this day in 1933 Franklin D. Roosevelt gave a stirring speech pledging to lead the country out of the Great Depression. You had to be there to be stirred by this speech because all the radios were in a state of disrepair by then and nobody had the money to get them fixed.

And now it is time for the “Happy Birthday” wishes. Rapper Grand Puba is 42 today and we wish him all the luck in the world and many more birthdays. Chastity Bono is 39 today and it hardly seems possible. My they grow up quickly! Rock singer Evan Dando (Lemonheads) is 41 and we hope he enjoys his day. Jazz musician Jason Marsalis is 31 and please have a solo on us. And actress Andrea Bowen (Desperate Housewives) is 18 and really finding out about life at an early age.

So that’s it for now history lovers. Don’t forget to grab a RSS feed so you won’t miss any installments of our award winning News Briefs or our Date With History

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