NewsLink Briefs

Benito here. Randy is off again. So I guess I should write something. AAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It hurts my hands to write.

Here is something I find this week in the paper.

“A sense of grievance spilling into rage has gripped some GOP events this week as McCain supporters see his presidential campaign lag against Obama. Some in the audience are making it personal, against the Democrat. Shouts of “traitor,” “terrorist,” “treason,” “liar,” and even “off with his head” have rung from the crowd at McCain and Sarah Palin rallies, and gone unchallenged by them.”

And I just want to say you have a lovely country here but I’m getting a little afraid to go out in public.  Yesterday I heard someone say they would go to Mexico and take some of my friends North while they were having siestas.  Then leave them in Nebraska so when they wake up they run into Canada.

They all laughed but it is not so funny.  Everybody is very mad.   Friskeena sometimes starts yelling about Benny and throwing stuff around the house.

People are being afraid of many things and now they are mad too.   But this McCain guy starts talking all this trash about Senator Obama and then when everyone starts yelling about it he says he’s going to be alright as President.

It’s very confusing.  Old people should not run for President.  They are confused.  It’s like they wake up In Nebraska and drive to California.   Then they think they find the boat to Martha’s Vineyard.

Oh Oh.  Someone is outside the door.  Maybe it’s Friskeena.  Or it could be John McCain and some guys who want to go to Montana.  I better hide.

Randy will be back tomorrow.  I think he’s out on the Interstate looking for Lorelle.  He better be careful or someone will try to take him to Florida.

How bad off can this country be at the moment?   They still have plenty of money for gas.  And the price is coming down faster than Friskeena can fly to the Helmut City Revue on a Friday nite.

Got to go.

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Tags: amp, audience, boat, car, city, crowd, crowds, Day, democrat, fish, fishing, fly, friday nite, friends, friskeena, fun, gop events, grievance, helmut, john mccain, king, laugh, lorelle, love, lovely, many things, May, mccain, mccain supporters, money, News, obama, oh, people, poor judgement, presidential campaign, rallies, run, sarah, sarah palin, senator obama, time, treason

Obama advisor, Samantha Power, in an interview with The Scotsman newspaper tried to describe opponent Hillary Clinton in terms that would immediately be recognizable to any of this newspapers many readers back home.

“She is a monster too-that is off the record-she is stooping to anything” the Harvard professor noted.

Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, is known throughout the western world as a prehistoric beast with a long neck who somehow survived the advent of the modern age and eight years of both the Clinton and the Bush administrations. She can stoop. She can swim. And she can scare the bejesus out of you if you have your back turned and she suddenly rises up out of the water.

Our intrepid reporter took the first available flight to Scotland yesterday to interview Nessie about these new developments in the US presidential campaign.

“All I can say” said Nessie as she swayed back and forth “Is that my mother had two children. I have a sister who disappeared many years ago. And clearly there is a family resemblance here although it’s hard to tell sometimes.”

“Because most of it is under water”.

The Secret Service has wasted no time in sending a team of agents to Scotland to protect Nessie as it does other members of the Clinton family.

Samantha Power meanwhile has said “Sorry” and will be back in Cambridge in time for the annual Foot In Mouth Festival held at Harvard every year to commemorate past presidential hopefuls. She deeply regrets her remarks. And it is clear to the casual observer that she has handed the Clinton campaign a large gift. As a member of Clinton’s entourage noted “Nessie is a beloved sea monster who is known to everyone alive at this moment. She has a wonderful personality and has no problem working behind the scenes. And she does not care who gets the credit.”

“Our candidate can only benefit from the news that she has such a wonderful sister waiting in the wings.”

Or at the bottom of the lake. Whichever. Has anybody bothered to ask Bill about this? I am sure he will have something to say about it. The former President is known to love the long necked ladies and he may want to put in a personal appearance.

Obama unsurprisingly seems to want to distance himself from all these events . Reportedly he said “It’s just wrong” when asked about his advisor’s remarks. “She should be on the phone with Chairman Arafat and not worrying about Hillary’s family tree”.

When he was reminded that Chairman Arafat passed away some time ago he added ” I mean these things in a figurative way. I am a charismatic figure and prone to references that help us all to understand the mythic stature of my candidacy and the eternal nature of this world.”

What?

Well, we have run out of time today loyal readers. Please grab a RSS feed and don’t miss future ‘08 Presidential Campaign news. This race is far from over and surprises await us all in the next few months. Hopefully Senator McCain will be in the news soon. Did he go on vacation? It’s hard to tell.

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