The judge in the corruption trial of a certain person says that the names of the jurors will be kept secret. Opening statements are set to begin in the trial of someone today. And we won’t say his or her name here because in the past this person was associated with someone else who is now running for high office. The judge did leave the door open to releasing some information later.
She noted that information about the assassination of JFK was due to be released fifty years after his death or in just a few years. So she felt we should all be patient and realize that before we all know it the information will be in our cold, dead hands.
The 52 year old defendant who is accused of shaking down companies with money to invest and perhaps (although this is highly unlikely) letting the money sit somewhere near someone who might have picked it up on his or her way to a campaign meeting.
He denies wrongdoing.
A former navy sailor was convicted of “leaking” (haha) details about ship movements to suspected terrorist supporters. Jurors convicted Hassan AbuJihaad, 32, of Phoenix of providing material support to terrorists and disclosing classified national defense information. The convicted sailor faces 25 years in federal prison for (among other things) passing along a drawing of his battle group’s formation and other data before it passed through the dangerous Strait of Hormuz in the Persian Gulf on April 29, 2001.
Mr. Jihaad stated in his defense motion that he was only making an April Fools joke and thought these were acceptable up to and including the last day of April. He also stated that he thought everyone would know it was a joke because, after all, his name was Mr. Jihaad! What fool with a name like that would actually try to sneak something important to his terrorist buds?
And even if he was that stupid wasn’t it clear that he was sorry and would not do it again if they just let him go back to Pakistan and take care of his elderly mother and five wives?
And finally the state of New York fined the personal corporation of Democratic Senate candidate Al Franken $25,000 for not carrying workers’ compensation insurance for almost three years. It was noted that they had sent him notices about this problem but he had apparently not received them.
But now he is aware of the problem and hopes to pay the fine once he is able to contact someone who is on trial somewhere near the Great Lakes.
Anything more that we might say about this could be construed as a political statement. And we don’t want to go there. This is The News. These are News Briefs. And BTW we would like to apologize for suggesting the inner cities of America be razed and parks established in their place. Our wife has reminded us that we have close relatives who live in the center of Boston, Buffalo and Miami. None of them want to move. None of them want to go live in a house boat.
None of them particularly like to fish and they prefer to eat steak. They especially like Filet Mignon once it has traveled through a meat grinder.
So we are very sorry about our suggestions although we think that bringing Pol Pot into the discussion is unfair and underhanded. Maybe the inner cities can be rehabilitated in another way and all the wonderful folks who live there can stay close to home.
Aren’t there rivers running through most cities? Isn’t that why a city is built in the first place? A nice river is found and everyone wants to live near it? So why not put all the house boats in the river that runs through the inner city? And once everyone has moved on to the river the old tenements and slumlord dwellings can be used for some other purpose.
Maybe suburban dwellers can be convinced to buy them up and rehab them by the millions? A moratorium on building new homes could go into effect until all the inner city dwellings are fixed up! The new President could share the news in his weekly radio address!
What a great idea! No flame throwers! No parks! Just new paint and furniture too! But who would live there after they are all fixed up? I don’t know! We will have to figure that out. Let us know what you think!
We can’t be expected to come up with all the answers in just one News Brief. So grab your RSS and return for more solutions to pressing problems SOON!
Popularity: 47% [?]
Tags: al franken, amp, April, april fools joke, boat, boats, boston, car, cities, city, corruption, davidlind, Day, death, defense motion, democrat, federal prison, fish, form, great, hassan abujihaad, home, hope, jfk, jihaad, king, lion, May, middle, money, mountains, national briefs, navy sailor, new york, News, news briefs, NewsLink Briefs, ovid, pain, parks, photo, relatives, run, senate, Ship, strait of hormuz, trial
