Jun 27 2008
Posted by davidlind under Favs
Archive for the Tag 'Charlize Theron'
Mar 23 2008
Posted by davidlind under Posts and blogs, Writing
Vermont’s High Court Will Decide Whether Eating Nutraloaf Is Torture
Table of contents for 2/ News Briefs
- Weekend Summary Of The News
- Dextre The Nasa Robot Back in News
- Vermont’s High Court Will Decide Whether Eating Nutraloaf Is Torture
- Yard of Charles Manson’s Home Not Dug Up
- The Nation’s Briefs/ Texas Sect Back in Business/ Don Imus
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A class action suit is being brought by some of Vermont’s prison inmates over the food they receive. They don’t like Nutraloaf. And unless someone starts building Hardee’s Restaurants inside Vermont prisons and staffing them with Hooters waitresses they will continue to pursue their rights in court. And they also want Charlize Theron to entertain them with her performance from Two Days In The Valley while they eat.
In other news the AP reports that people should toss out cantaloupes from a Honduran firm believed to be linked to a salmonella outbreak. Authorities note, however, that this does not mean you can toss these babies out your car window when traveling at excess speed through the center of town.
There is a proper way to dispose of your cantaloupe. And ignorance of the right way to do it is no excuse in a court of law.
In other news fleeing drug traffickers off Nicaragua’s coast dumped 3,300 pounds of cocaine into the ocean before escaping. Divers tried to retrieve the packages but were hampered by throngs of tourists who were thrashing about in the water. Fishing boats were also seen to be entering the area in great numbers and the price of fish was skyrocketing as the weekend approached.
And finally Russian says the killing of two journalists from the violence ridden Russian providence of Dagestan are not related. Television reporter Ilyas Shurpayev was found dead on Friday and later that day the head of Dagestan’s state controlled television channel was also killed.
“This is just a coincidence. The murders are not related to each other” said Shamil Guseivov, deputy police chief in Dagestan’s capital. ” The same bullet was not used in each case so they cannot be related. Also they did not happen at the same time and two different criminals were executed. I mean two different journalists died. Probably they both had heart attacks. But we will get to the bottom of this incident”.
“Before Sunday because we want to start the new week off with a blank sheet of paper. So we will have room for the names of more journalists.“And that’s all the news we have for you western dumkoff’s today. Grab your feed and hold tightly onto it because you never know when the news will happen.
And try to buy some fish for your dinner tonight. Remember. Fish from Nicaragua. Good. Cantaloupes from Honduras. Bad.
And Stay away from Dagestan. All of the time.
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More News Briefs
Popularity: 40% [?]
Mar 11 2008
Posted by davidlind under Posts and blogs, Writing
Eliot Spitzer Tries To Join Clinton Administration / Justin Timberlake Kisses Madonna’s Butt
Table of contents for Commentary
- Reform The Nation’s Highest Office
- Weekly Editorial / Arnold For President
- Weekly Editorial / John McCain Should Do Relaxation Exercises
- Eliot Spitzer Tries To Join Clinton Administration / Justin Timberlake Kisses Madonna’s Butt
- Gas Prices Are High Because We Want Them That Way
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Eliot Spitzer today went a long way towards improving his image and possibly getting himself chosen as Hillary Clinton’s running mate. “I used to be the guy everybody hated”. He said. “I was after everybody. If you had dirt under one fingernail I could find it.” Bill Clinton wouldn’t answer my phone calls. Now he wants to have me to dinner”.
All of this after the NY Governor was busted for sending thousands of dollars to a high class group of prostitutes. Were these donations to a charitable trust? I don’t think so.
“I had reached the top of the ladder and now I’m on a new ladder. Hillary hates my guts but Bill understands. A lot of guys understand. I was desperate. Everybody hated me. It’s tough being the governor of a big state and not being able to have sex with a beautiful woman.”
“But now I’m in the national spotlight AND I may be available for a new job in a couple of days. I can get dates again. Nobody is afraid of me any more. They all know the days of hard hitting investigations are over. I’m a loser just like some of them. They understand me and I’m probably going to be single in a short time too.”
“I’m pretty excited.”
You go Eliot! Just try to stay out of jail.
Meanwhile closer to the ground Justin Timberlake was doing his impression of Dane Cook kissing Charlize Theron on the butt.
“Nobody has gotten into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame looking this damn fine”. Is Keith Richards in their already? That’s who Justin must have been thinking about and I can appreciate his attempt to make another human being feel good on her special day.
Justin. Deborah Harry is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Congratulations to Madonna on her induction. I remember all those years you spent teaching young girls about the wonders of the material life and other good stuff. Until one day you finally grew up and changed A LOT. What comments do you have for all those girls who listened to you back then Material Girl?
“Sorry.”
“Hope you didn’t end up in jail or lose your soul. “
Popularity: 32% [?]
