Gas Prices Are High Because We Want Them That Way
Table of contents for Commentary
Sin is geographical. ~Bertrand Russell
It’s time we have a talk boys and girls. And I know you wonder why I call you boys and girls when you haven’t been in the third grade for at least a couple of decades.
And you have understood about life and where baby rabbits come from for a good while too. And if you are so old you can’t remember the names of all the characters in Bambi I can sympathize with you.
Because I can’t remember any of their names either including Bambi’s.
So let’s get down to business and talk about gas prices. Because they are pretty high and maybe going a lot higher.
Why is that sisters and brothers?
Because.
Because we want them that way. And before you have a fit and start beating your head against the desk let me say that I am not talking about you personally. Or me either for that matter. I am talking about the “We” in the Declaration of Independence. As in “We the People” decided when we elected certain people that we wanted high gas prices. And the higher the better.
Are Teddy Kennedy or Joe Biden going to vote for legislation that will ease the regulatory burden so more refineries can be built? Because the bottleneck caused by too few refineries (especially after a hurricane or two!) keeps gas prices high. Are these guys and their friends going to vote for oil drilling in Alaska so the supply of oil can be increased?
And finally are they going to vote for a reduction in the taxes that are nailed on to every gallon of gas that goes into your gas tank?
I think we know the answer to all those questions my dear friends.
But why? Why do they vote in ways that cause gas prices to stay high and go higher?
Because if they suddenly turned around and voted the other way several things would happen. First the price of oil and gas would plummet. It would come way down. Then people would buy more of it and drive farther, faster and longer.
And then the tiny little smokestack that pokes itself out between the two back wheels of our cars would send more pollution into the sky where it would contribute (some say) to Global Warming! And this would happen millions and millions of times each day.
And then Boston, Massachusetts and the State of Delaware would be under water.
Where do Ted Kennedy and Joe Biden come from?
Palm Beach! No wait. That’s wrong. They come from places that will be under water if Global Warming “heats up”.
And a lot of folks who voted for them will be under water too!
Now I understand why some of you in Kansas might feel that it is poetic justice for Teddy to end up “under water”. But that’s ancient history. And Joe Biden never drove his car off a bridge!
So it comes down to votes.
How many votes do we have from Kansas farmers who want low gas prices to operate their tractors and don’t care if Teddy and his friends can’t swim? Or they don’t believe in Global Warming.
Count the chads.
How many voters do care if they wake up one morning and a giant tuna is swimming by their bedpost? Or their friend in Boston’s bedpost? Or their ex-wife’s bedpost? Too complicated?
Count the chads. All of them. Pregnant? Fine. Obese? Great Flapping in the wind? Count it!
And in the end we have all come together in a democratic process to decide we want higher gas prices. And we want an economy that is not red hot and burning lots of fuel. And we want the maps of the US to stay about the same. We have placed our bets on the table.
We don’t want Florida to be an island in the new World Atlas Map. It’s too confusing for all of us snow birds.
And we are willing to pay for it to stay where it is!
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Filed in Writing One Response so far
Leilani Love on 03 May 2008 at 9:55 am #
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