NewsLink Briefs

It’s time for some News Briefs boys and girls but before we start I would just like to thank everyone. Yesterday as you have probably heard three tornadoes ripped through Virginia. No one was killed. But there were injuries and a lot of cars will never see the road again except from the back of a tow truck.

In any case “Thanks” for all the emails that I have come in asking if your blogging guy was doing alright. I haven’t read any of them yet but I can see them lined up in my Gmail account under BlogCatalog, Google Alerts and Sploofus.

Oh wait! Where did they go? I’m sure I saw them this morning when I got up. I was sitting right here trying to pry my left eye open. It gets stuck sometimes.

Maybe I dreamed about it. I had a dream that Seth Godin emailed me and said he liked my blogs so much he wanted to link to every post I ever did. What a nightmare!

Actually I didn’t even know we had survived Tornadoes in this area last night until I went out this morning and heard the news on my car radio. That Brian guy on Fox and Friends was talking about it.

When they give away an Emmy for the most irritating person on television I hope he gets it. Because he deserves it. He really thinks he’s funny and he’s not. Of course maybe we have the same problem and that’s why I can’t listen to him for long. We are just like a couple of magnets with the same poles pushed together.

What a mess. Hopefully those who are in critical condition will recover. The only good news is that the drought we were having is now over. It has been raining a lot.

In other news Brazil has called off its search for a priest who vanished while floating over the Atlantic with a cluster of party balloons. The Reverend Antonio de Carli has been missing since April 20th when he lifted off from a southern port city Paranagua strapped to 1,000 helium filled balloons.

I find these circumstances most unfortunate. Clearly this was a priest with a sense of fun.

I can see him flying through the clouds when suddenly a flock of birds spotted all the brightly colored balloons and decided there might be something good to eat inside their bright exteriors.

“Pop” went the first balloon and Father de Carli suddenly realized his journey was going to take him a lot farther than he had anticipated. He was going to go all the way to the Pearly Gates.

And he was going to get there in record time.

Congratulations Father! Here are your wings. Now you can really fly.

And that’s all we have for now News Brief readers. Today’s report has been about things that sometimes fly through the air.

Trees

Cars

Cows

Roofs

Father de Carli.

Hopefully everyone will stay on the ground for awhile.

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It’s time to take a look at the world before it cracks open and some of it disappears. Because that’s what is happening in Nevada. We have written about this before and suggested that land speculators were invading this state and looking for beach front property bargains.

Because there surely are going to be some as scientists say a 4.7 earthquake hit the Reno area Friday night and a 6.0 earthquake would “not be a scientific surprise”.

This is the first time your aged reporter has heard about “scientific surprise”. He always thought science was based on predictability. If it’s a surprise don’t blame science.

But predicting earthquakes is not a science I guess so maybe they should just leave science out of it and say “Surprise!”

And “Put on a helmet” and “Grab your ankles and kiss yourself goodbye” (I left out part of the directions because not everyone is capable of following all the steps.

What else is going on for the survivors among us? We must carry on even as we wave good-bye to Arnold and his subjects as they float out to sea.

Presidential Candidate Barack Obama doesn’t want to debate Hillary before the May 6 primaries in Indiana and North Carolina.

Why? Possibly because he wanted to drink a cyanide cocktail after debating her the last time. And for those of you who may scoff at this let me ask a question. Have YOU ever debated Hillary? It’s not exactly like taking a walk in the park with your old girlfriend who still loves you.

Probably you never did that either.

Let’s just give Osama I mean Obama a break here. He does not want to go into the Heart of Darkness again. You only get so many chances to go in there and come out alive.

He needs his freaking mind to debate McCain. He can’t lose it now! She will take all his marbles and mail them back to him after the election.

You can’t look at that woman’s eyes on television without feeling dizzy. Imagine what it’s like in person when she’s ten feet away standing on a podium and the lights are heating things up.

Her head can do a 360 just like the kid in the Exorcist.

She wants to wait and use that on McCain. But if she has to do it now she will.

http://www.cspan.org/

BTW here is the video of last night’s White House Correspondents Dinner in case you don’t already know enough about the derangement syndromes of our various politicians and media guys and girls.

And finally President Assad of Syria said yesterday that the structure the Israelis bombed last September was not part of a nuclear weapons program.

It was a Welcome Center for Israelis who want to emigrate to Syria.

Sad. You hate to see something as nice as that destroyed. It can be awfully hot traveling in the desert.

But there is an additional report coming out of Syria right now! Let’s see if we can pick it up. Apparently….

Mr. Assad’s pants..

Have caught on fire. Yes. That’s what it says. His pants have caught on fire.

What could this mean? I don’t know. But we will try to find out. Tune in next time.

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Oh It’s only been a week since I wrote a post here. It seemed like a lot longer when I thought about it. I decided to write about Yahoo Buzz and there top ten picks. Because obviously that’s what people are interested in reading or talking about and why not throw my fifty cents into the pile?

So I did numbers one through five over at Virginia Breeze earlier in the evening. And now while I am waiting for American Idol to tape so I don’t have to watch all the commercials I can do the rest.

Here. And since I started doing this several hours ago the list has changed. Why? Because the news waits for no man or woman I guess. Stuff happens. But Kristy Lee Cook is still up there and we have been following her exploits on AI. What can we say about her that has not already been said?

Not much. She’s a great kid with a bright future. So I don’t understand why she wants to get married at this point. And I DO understand why her boyfriend suddenly decided he needed to propose to her. Because I would have done the same thing in his situation.

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The White House is floating a new climate proposal these days. And No I am not trying to be funny. There was a cool film made a few years ago that showed some results of global warming. Much of the East Coast was under water and stuff was floating away.

Can the White House float in such an environment? I don’t know. But I’m sure there are a lot of politicians who can float really well. They will float out to sea.

Or maybe the sea will even come to them. Then they can float to Albany, New York or Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Whatever floats their boats! Teddy might want to consider taking a plane however.

He has not floated well in the past.

In any case the White House proposed some things and some Republicans got mad and accused it of “appeasement”. And then the White House broke and ran.

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