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British Officials Find Coca Plantation in Jungle
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- British Officials Find Coca Plantation in Jungle
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BRITISH OFFICIALS FIND COCA PLANTATION IN JUNGLE –From Wire Reports 3/17/08
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And our intrepid reporter was on the scene to record this conversation. . .
First Official: Jeeves! What have we here? By golly I think we have found the location of the Cocoa Puffs production facility!
Second Official: By Jove I think you are right! But why would they make them out here in this godforsaken jungle? I almost stepped on a snake back there! And all these mosquitoes!
Third Official: No. No. You idiots! This looks like a laboratory to manufacture cocaine. You both really do need to get out more. Look over there! Why would everyone start scampering into the woods upon our arrival if all they were doing was making breakfast cereal?
First Official: Why yes dear boy. I think you may have a point there. Look. Tell the General to round up some of his men and go have a talk with a few of those fellows. My! How they do dart back and forth. General! Bring that one over here. I wish to ask him a few questions.
General Meege: Yes sir.
Several soldiers grab a man with unfashionable clothing who looks to need a bath and shave and drag him towards the group of officials.
Second Official: Say there young man. What in the world do you think you are doing out here in Brazil’s Amazon region making this nasty mess?
Young Man: You don’t like Cocoa Puffs sir? My little sister loves them very much. She finds that eating them is the best way to start her day. She is “Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! And my twelve other brothers and sisters all like them too”!
Third Official: Now don’t try to fool us with that old routine sir. Who do you think you are dealing with here?
Young Man: I’m sorry. I really don’t know who I am dealing with because I just woke up and you all did not send word that you would be here so early in the morning.
General Meege: Gentlemen I don’t think we will be getting much of the truth out of this one. This is a bad situation. This environment is not good for cocaine production. They like to go up into the Andes Mountains. They like Peru or Colombia but you see what happens when they are driven from one place to another.
Third Official: You mean to say that there are still cocaine labs out here after all this time? Why we have spent billions of dollars trying to get rid of them. What do you suggest we do about this problem?
General Meege: Duck!
First Official: What? Duck? Duck What? I had duck last night for dinner and it was very. . .
General Meege: Get down you idiot! They have turned around and are coming back!
Second Official: Oh well in that case I suggest we all go back to the hotel and have breakfast. How about you fellows? I think we have had enough exercise for one morning.
Third Official: Yes. Grab that jeep over there. Good-bye General. Nice to have met you young man. Please keep us informed. We have reports to write. How does poached eggs and salmon sound to you boys? Good-bye!
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